Skyward Sword, First Imressions
I picked up skyward sword while I was gone and have played through the first bit of it. For fans of Zelda who are wondering what this new installment plays like, it plays like "Zelda, J-RPG Edition". For a Zelda game, it's pretty shitty. I have never played a Zelda game I didn't like before so I'm not really sure what to make of it. It will likely be the fist Zelda game I don't bother finishing. If you're really into the J-RPG thing, you'll probably like it (if you can get past the fact that it's supposed to be a Zelda game).
Shitty, poorly written "oh I love her because she holds her hands to her chest, leans forward and looks dreamy at me for an awkward length of time" romances, annoying "find x number of y to upgrade" equipment systems and terrible fanfic level dialog just don't do it for me. I commend trying to make it a bit more character driven than "go here and do this because I say so" driven (as seen in games like OoT), but character based games are really only compelling if the characters are interesting. I don't know if the developers ran out of time or what, but they forgot to give their characters any sort of personality. While they where forgetting shit, they also forgot to finish the animation on link's running, climbing and picking things up movements. The framing in camera is terrible, the game lacks any sense of mood or pacing, the exposition is as smooth and well integrated as a fork up my un-lubricated ass and I can't think of anything nice to say about the cinematography of this game. If I hadn't been told otherwise, I'd think I was testing an unfinished game. There is something wrong going on when your current gen console makes the animation from the original OoT look on the ball.
Anyone who tells you that this is an origin story is lying to you. When you start this game, there is already a god/godess system set up, there is already a hero of legend, a back-story that doesn't involve you, etc etc. Link doesn't offer anything to this story other than to do shit other people tell him to. I don't know what this is an origin of, the sword exists already, the hero exists already and hyrule exists already. Everything else is just so much superficial window dressing.
For the few people who will ask, the wii motion works alright I guess. There's kind of an awkward delay between doing something and link doing it, but the monsters take a while to walk over, put on their makeup and do a few warm-up stretches before they attack so it evens itself out pretty well. I've been told that this is the best game the wii has to offer, but this is sort of like telling me that the week old moldy cake is the best thing my trash bin has to offer.
I'm all for changing and evolution and I am glad that they are moving in new directions (as you can probably tell by the events of
this comic). I am however, disappointed that that direction seems to have lead them strait off a cliff. I keep reading reviews of praise about this game and I feel like I'm living in some sort of bizzaro universe where FF13 was game of the decade and twilight princess was shit.
It is a strange and terrifying universe.
I'll probably write a more in-depth review on this game when I finish it. I'm not really interested in hearing excuses that people keep making for this game. "oh it's on the wii so it has to look like shit" Bullshit, both the Zelda Game-cube titles looked better than this. "oh well zelda has never been about the characters so it's stupid to complain about them" Bullshit. This game is trying to be character driven and it's failing. Zelda has always been about good story, engaging gameplay and challenging puzzles. This game isn't about any of that. Even still, this has to have the worst writing and character dialogue I have ever seen in a zelda game, and I have seen the CD games. "They have tons more personality than before! look how happy he looks!" No, they have tons more facial expressions animated onto them, my cat can make most of these faces. If these characters didn't respond looking angry when someone told them they're going to destory the world, I would think they where psychopaths, not full of character. Their expressions say nothing about them other than the fact that they have the ability to respond appropriately (sometimes) to a situation. Every character forced upon me is cliche and tropey. It's all been done before, and better. "Oh well they're just trying something new, it doesn't need to be like zelda!" If it doesn't need to be "like zelda" then it doesn't need to be Zelda. I'm not just talking about recycling history, weapons, themes, etc. Zelda used to be about problem solving and puzzles and following a hero on his journey. So far the only puzzle to be seen in the first dungeon I have completed is "hit the thing with the other thing to make the door open" and you don't even have to figure that out, they hold your hand and point you to it. Not even different things. Crystals. The answer is always hit the crystals. And no, I don't think "flail the wiimote to confuse the eye" counts as a puzzle, which is incidentally, how I beat every monster and boss I've come across. I handed off my controller for the first fight with the demon boss guy to a friend who has never even held a wii mote or seen this game, i gave him no instructions and he still flailed his way to victory. This is not a skill based game. I am not following a hero on his journey. I'm following some bored kid to the corner store to get milk for his mom. This is a Zelda game made by the people who have set high standards for the gaming industry in their time. I expect more from them.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is, you shouldn't have to make excuses for a game. A good game speaks for itself.
But if you liked this game, more power to you, as a zelda fan I tried REALLY hard to like this game. I look forward to the flames the journal will receive. I'm probably not going to respond to many people since most of the comments will be "you are wrong because I say so" and there is no real discussion to be had in that. I'm not enjoying the game and there isn't really anything anyone can say that will make me suddenly start liking it just as I am sure (and hope) that what I have said here will not stop people who like it from doing so. Even if I probably won't reply (or read it at all) you're welcome to say it if you like just the same.
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